I love my husband – to pieces. And it will be to death.
Not like, “It will be the death of me” but like, “till death due us part”.
I met him when I was nineteen at a weekend youth activity. He was from Massachusetts. I was from the Bronx, New York.
It was love at first sight – for my brother – almost four years younger than me. He fell in love with the owner of the Ford Gran Torino solely because he desperately wanted to drive that car!
As for me, it took a little time & a few conversations.
But fall in love I did. Deep. Hard. Forever.
At that time, I was mostly curious about his kind & generous nature. He proved to be the kind of man who wants to help people. Truly. No matter how inconvenient to him. No matter if it puts him out. No matter the cost. And it never irritates him. Helping others comes naturally & genuinely.
And that is what drew me to him. Once I loved him, I knew I would never love another. It was a done deal for me.
Now, nearly thirty five years later, I can still say – Dan is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Dan has been the reason, the avenue & the catalyst through which God has & continues to work in my life.
About a month ago, we gained a new member to our family. Maybe I should call it a new “victim”. After finishing a first dinner together at their apartment, Dan asks, “Where’s the cards?”.
Oh yeah….the time has come.
The Game of Hearts.
It is a card game that the man loves to play & we all love to hate to play with him. For we are all his victims. It is a card game that calls for four people. There is no greater JOY, yes I sadly admit great JOY, that three of us will gang up & play as a team to try in an concerted effort to take the man down. He counts cards. Not just any cards – ALL of them. AT THE SAME TIME. EVERY suit. So he knows exactly what is in your hand eventually. Don’t quote me on this but I think it may be his spiritual gift. It is amazing. So to take him down is nothing short of a miracle. And a little cheating :). On our part, not his. And that is the point of this……
I have never met a man more authentic than my husband. He greatly abhors phoniness.
As time went on in our marriage, I discovered that he had no patience for people that were not the real deal. None. Zero. Zilch. The thing is he does not look at others critically or judgmentally. He offers them much grace. But himself….he will never profess to be perfect. Not ever. He is most transparent in his shortcomings.
And that is why he has been the single greatest human agent of change in my walk with God. I never wanted him to think that I was not authentic with God.
Five years into the marriage & instead of praying, “Lord, change him”, the cry of my heart was, “Lord, change me”. I wanted that Dan would know, respect & love that my faith in God was real. Genuine to the core. I did not want that he would ever call me out on it. And he would! In a strange twist of faith, God has used Danny all these years to mold me & work in my life, usually unbeknownst to us both. And only recently, the night the cards came out for the first time with his new victim, did the Lord reveal that to me.
We are a few hands into the game, she’s a quick learner, seeming to enjoy the game. Granted, he is going a little easy on her as he truly does not want to scare off his victims. Umm, I mean competitors. He has managed to keep his son-in-law coming back to play for nearly 10 years now. We are playing & talking & it happens….in a rough hand, he takes a ton of points when the idea is to take as little points as possible each hand.
“Well, that was a {____} hand!”
There it is. Out in the open. Clear as day. The three of us hear it. We look at each other.
AND BUST OUT LAUGHING. I mean till our stomachs hurt, the tears ran out our eyes, our noses ran.
Mr. Potty Mouth.
He has always managed to keep his colorful vocabulary out of the house. The kids did not hear it from him. I hardly ever heard it from him. I knew it was there. He never denied it. He has worked on it for years. We have talked about it. But it is there. Every now & then, it surfaces.
As the laughter died down, we resumed playing cards. Conversation continued. But this time, the topic was the use of his word. He openly & unabashedly, explained to our son his struggle with his vocabulary. He never, not once, made any excuses for what had slipped out. Not ever. That is because, he is still genuine, even in the face of embarrassment. He always owns up. Always.
As we are driving home, he & I talk about the night. Laughter began again as we recalled the incident. It is then that I feel the prompting to tell him. He needs to know. He needs to know…….
- that he is the perfect man for me. Always has been. Always will be.
- God has greatly used him in my life as an agent of growth.
- I admire him deeply for his vulnerability.
- he is the most authentic Christian I know
- there are many adjectives I can use to describe him, phony will not ever be among them.
- God loves him – in spite of his shortcomings.
It has been a few weeks since I told him. It was a most emotional ride home. But he needed to know that while I fell in love with him for his kind spirit, it was his authenticity that has grown & strengthened my love.
I will never fully comprehend how God works in the lives of men & women. The manner in which He brings people together will probably always remain a mystery to me. There can be no two different people than my husband & I. Yet I KNOW there can be no more perfect matching than he & I. I will forever be grateful to God for bringing us together.
You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17, The Message)
I am forever thankful He chose you, Danny, to sharpen my life! Thank you for giving me permission to share this which only proves my point that you are genuine!
I dedicate this post to the mystery of marriage, Danny & a Gran Torino š which have marked my life in ways that I never could have imagined on that day we met.
Today I am linked with Hear It, Use it and Playdates With God and Grace Laced Mondays and The Better Mom and The Alabaster Jar and Inspire Me Monday and Sharing His Beauty and Monday’s Musings and Making Your Home Sing and The Modest Mom and Marriage Mondays .
Hi there! I am coming over from Sharing His Beauty.
What a beautiful tribute to your husband! And you are not afraid to reveal all of him. Just like God loves us, warts and all! What a special man he must be, and what a wonderful wife you are to him.
God bless you both š
Happy Monday,
Ceil
Thank you Ceil! I asked his permission before writing this post. He is a wonderful, who truly loves God. I will forever be grateful that he loves me & chose to go through life with me. Thank you for visiting & sharing!
“He always owns up.”
That is such a wonderful character trait to have. Your family is blessed to have your husband as part of it. Authenticity is valuable!
He always does own up. He has truly blessed us & led his family well. Thank you for sharing!
Sounds like a fun night and a close family. I’m glad you were able to laugh but not “laugh it off”. I like how he was honest and didn’t try to excuse it, but didn’t feel “defined” by it. If only we could all find that balance.
Beth-You are right in the he has not let it define him. I think that is because he has owned up to it & been transparent about it. I am glad you chose to visit me today!
This is a great story. I know that my husband is a great inspiration to me and my journey with Christ.
Jo, thanks for this tribute to your marriage. It is a beautiful thing what God has done in your life through your relationship to Danny. I loved that you laughed so hard all of you cried. You and Danny are blessed to be a huge part of each other lives and God did it! WOW.
Mare
Mare – Thank you for being such an encouraging friend! I am surely blessed for having Danny in my life. I would not have wanted to miss out on my journey with him for anything. It has been the best!
Love,
Jo
I LOVED this post!
I laughed and I cried.
You see, over 30 years ago my guy, who has no patience for phoniness, chose me, the owner of a Gran Torino, and I love him more than ever, especially after I chose to work on myself rather than change him.
stopping over from Monday Musings, and enjoyed myself very much. Have a blessed day!
Oh my gosh, I LOVE your comment. Mirror images. We can so get it!!! Your comment made me both laugh & cry. I am so glad that you stopped here & shared with me. I love it. And only God could have done that š
Blessings on you & your man!
Joanne
Oh, this made me crack up! I’ll admit, I struggle with my words as much (if not more) than my husband. I try SO hard not to lose it around the kids (I wish I could say I always succeeded but…. yeah, that wouldn’t be the case.) Luckily the kids have very forgiving, generous natures and help keep me honest and striving to be better!
Maybe it is our slip ups that keep us real & depending on God. Thank you for stopping by & sharing.
Blessings,
Joanne
I loved this! I guess because I so identified with it. Gary and I met 45 years ago today in a Walmart store! The end of this month we will celebrate 44 years of marriage. He, too, is SO real, so genuine – and also verry verrrry good at hearts!
That is so funny! We do not meet very many who know the game. Oh the fun we could have if we could sit together & play! Thank you so much for stopping by today!
Blessings,
Joanne
What an absolutely lovely post. I have an authentic man too, I am very blessed and very grateful. I think it’s so important to let them know too. Found you via Happy Wives Club
Michelle x
Thank you. They are a treasure indeed š Thank you for stopping here & leaving a comment. They are always read & appreciated!
Have a great Saturday!
Joanne