The above graphic struck me deeply the day I saw it online. I knew it was stirring something deep in my heart but did not act upon it quickly. I had to get up the courage and the words as I never wanted to bring offense. Truth be known, we were all guilty from time to time.
The end of June, I bit the bullet and it has now been just about a month the “new rule” has been in effect at our house …
All cellphones must be out of our hands and pockets, face down, sound off – on the bookshelf by the back door upon entering. My husband’s and mine must remain on the kitchen counter. No scrolling through twitter or responding to texts or emails for the few hours we are all together.
Time is precious, short and passing much too quickly.
I had noticed quite a few times a person would be addressed with a question and because the person was on their phone – they never even knew they were being talked to and the potential conversation slipped away. I did not want anyone in my family to lose the ability to have talks amongst ourselves. Face to face. I did not want conversation to center around the tweet we were currently reading.
Meaningful conversation and opportunities are being lost all around us if we are not careful.
No phone text, or tweet or Facebook status is more important than the times we are together. Who is to say how much time any of us have together? Seriously. Our children are growing up and these childhood days can not be recaptured. Trust me, I know this to be true. If you doubt it – just let me show you my “babies”.
Time is precious. Fleeting, actually, but don’t take my word for it. Listen …
- “Show me, O Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life.” (Psalm 39:4, NIV)
- “Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow.” (Psalm 144:4, NIV)
- “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” (James 4:14, NIV)
So the rule was made. No exceptions unless it is a medical emergency. Social media is a thief, making you think you will miss something important. And you do. You miss what is going on right in front of you.
It’s going quite well so far. Conversations have been had. More game playing with the children. We’re laughing and acting silly and being together.
Because …
When we are together, we are going to be fully present.
And that’s the new rule.
Today I am joining … Testimony Tuesday and True Story and #RaRaLinkup and Intentional Tuesday and Reflect and Unite .
love this idea! We were at the beach last week and it was wonderfully freeing to be out with the family all day with no phones. Now to bring more of that into the home.
Kathryn, I don’t think we ever realize how our phones are restricting us until we go without them a bit. This has been eye opening at our home for sure.
This is great! We do this during dinner … but not throughout the night. The thought of doing that scares me a little bit! Ć°ÅøĖĀ± I love your words of being “fully present” … and that’s really what it boils down to. Visiting from #TestimonyTuesday.
Diane, our children are grown. The new rule is for when we are all together at our home for family dinners. Like Sunday afternoons or Saturday barbeques. Maybe I should have stated that in the post. Sorry.
I think it would be a great thing in my home for times other than dinner. My kids’ small groups do that.
Love this so much, Joanne. It’s a rule I’ve started during meal times (dining in or outside of the house) but love the idea of putting them away once entering the house. Good wisdom, friend. Blessings
Beth, the rule was applied for when our family gets all together on weekends. It is funny how a graphic can prompt us to think on things we may not ordinarily. Happy to “see” you as you are such a blessing!
Two thumbs up.
Thanks, Lyli. Not easy to do but it has sure been worth it š
I love this! It’s amazing how we don’t realize how much technology is taking from us. One of my kids was recently grounded from technology. It made us focus on our own technology use. We are purposely putting down the laptops, Kindle Fires (where the net was surfed, not books read), phone, and iPads to go outside and walk in the evenings or play games at the dining room family. I find that when I log back on, I haven’t missed a thing!
Elizabeth, I had to smile at the end of your comment. You confirmed the lie that we all buy into > that we think we are going to miss something. I love that you share once you logged back on, you had not missed a thing! So glad we are all exposing that lie š
This is such a wonderful and meaningful idea, Joanne. We may have to copy it :). My 21-year-old daughter just got rid of her iPhone and bought one of those cheap phones that just works to text and call, nothing else. I’m so incredibly proud of her. She was tired of the obsession with social media and knew that step would help her tremendously in getting away from it. She still has a Facebook account, but she has to access it from a computer which is much less than when using a smartphone continuously. Her other social media accounts, Twitter, Instagram… are no longer in use. It’s so amazing how much more she chats with us now when she visits!
Wow, Candace! I’d say you have a very mature 21 year old! Praise God!
I agree with Betsy, Candace. You have a mature 21 YO. Here’s to more conversations in our homes!
Wow, Joanne, this is so good. You’ve expressed so well what I often feel, but I’ve lacked the backbone to put it into effect in our own home. Can I ask? How long is the “no phones” policy in effect? Do you have a schedule of time when people check their phones? Just curious as to how it works practically.
Betsy, our children are grown. I put the rule into force for the times we are all together at my home for dinners (usually Saturday and/or Sunday dinners). So with that said, none of us check our phones for however long we are all together at our house, which can be up to an entire afternoon and evening. It is working out wonderfully.
Great rule! It’s so easy for technology to take over…because we allow it. This was my “a-ha” moment in your post, Joanne: “…the potential conversation slipped away.” We may never gather those moments again. But hey, with phones down, we will! Visiting via #intentionalTuesday.
Kristi, it has been amazing to me to realize how this has changed us. And I am glad I found my backbone to say it to them all š
Good for you, Joanne. I’m curious … how have your children and husband adjusted to this new rule? š Your neighbor at #RaRaLinkup …
Our children are adults. I will admit to you, I think they all thought I was nuts at first & a little fun was poked at me. But … they all did it and I do think they are all glad they did.
This: “Social media is a thief, making you think you will miss something important. And you do. You miss what is going on right in front of you.” Such Truth!! Ć¢ā¢Ā„
Heather, I am glad that thought resonated with you. May we expose the lie & be fully engaged with those around us. Blessings!
Challenging word, Joanne. But you are so right: “Social media is a thief, making you think you will miss something important. And you do. You miss what is going on right in front of you.” Thank you, Joanne, for sharing your heart and a great rule on #IntentionalTuesday on Intentionally Pursuing. : )
Crystal, if you only knew how long it took me to share it with everyone š I am so glad God my backbone both with my family & in writing this post. Always good to join you!
What a great idea and a personal challenge to me. You are so right about this thief. Thank you for planting seeds. Joining you on #Reflect today!
Christi, the challenge sounds more daunting than it actually is. Once we started, it was easy to lay those phones down & enjoy the wonderful company we were in. Blessings!
What a wonderful idea especially at meal time. Hubby and I don’t have that problem with phones, but we do enjoy our computers. Not always on FB, but it is a good source of connection. Thanks for sharing with us here at Tell me a Story.
Hazel, I think technology is becoming an issue not only for more & more of us, but at a younger age as well. I am grateful my family is willing to lay them down in order for us all to be together. Fully. Always good to share stories with you!
Love it!!!!!!!!
Thank you. I do too, now that I started the new rule š
I’m in awe with how the Lord works. It seems this week He has moved many of us bloggers to speak on conversation!
I found your statement so utterly profound when you stated, “Social media is a thief, making you think you will miss something important. And you do. You miss what is going on right in front of you.” Wow! I was so convicted by this!
Thank you so much for sharing your insights! I’m so glad I stopped by! š
Karen, I am glad that statement resonated with so many. May we all hold onto this conviction & be fully present with our families & friends. Blessings!