Today is Valentine’s Day.
The day men and women everywhere will celebrate love. I don’t usually write about my husband as I try to hold some things close. But somehow today was different.
Friday we had an appointment which my husband had been after me for a long time to make. When I say I had been putting it off, I mean like I have been putting it off for years. Yes, years.
But Friday we went to put it gently, and as my southern friend put it so kindly – “to put our affairs in order.” It was the conversation I never wanted to have and somehow still cannot work past it all to talk about it.
But the years have had a way of creeping up on us and it was important to one of us (my husband) to do this, and so we did.
We showed up with all the necessary information. I am organized most of the time and for this appointment, I was well organized. Seeing as I had put it off for so long, I certainly did not want to have to do it again.
The attorney was wonderful. He was kind and informative as he “killed us off” one at a time to help us make our decisions and choices wisely. Right from the start, I informed him that he had it all wrong as we would both be going at the same time. That should have been his clue not to push the death scenario too often on me.
The time and the discussion went smoothly and I managed to keep it all together. Until I got up from my seat. The weight of the discussion and decisions hit me hard and the tears began to roll. The poor attorney ran for tissues, since he was not exactly sure what else to do.
It is funny how a conversation on trusts, wills, health proxies and living wills can make one realize how fleeting and fragile life can be. But more so, it made me realize how precious life is and the depth of love and commitment there is in my marriage.
The photo hangs on the wall of our bedroom, a reminder of our wedding day. We were young and never gave thought to the fact the years would pass quickly.
I want to grow old with him. I want to kiss him when his skin is weathered and wrinkled. I want to hear him snoring in the middle of the night, every night. I want to laugh with him and at his silly antics. I want to smell his cologne every morning as he gets ready for work and for the day. And I want to fold his laundry and put it in his drawers.
Oh sure, we have had our ups and downs but God has been so good, for the downs have been few and the ups plentiful. After all, it will be thirty eight years this year.
I have been reading “The Heart of Marriage” by Dawn Camp over the last week. If you are married, I highly suggest this one. Every story is different but each one drives home the unique relationship found in a marriage. You will cry. You will laugh. And you will come to appreciate your spouse and see them through a new lens – the lens of love and commitment.
I was surprised to see that my sweet friend, Emily Wierenga, had similar thoughts on marriage as she wrote in one chapter:
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate.” (Matthew 19:5-6, NIV)
And so Danny, on this Valentine’s Day and on every day – I hope you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I love you.
And I hope you know the lawyer is wrong – we are going together.
Today I am joining … Testimony Tuesday and Unite and #RaRaLinkup .
I am in the same boat, I will do anything to remind my husband that we are going to go together! It’s so hard to think otherwise, but you’re right, when those reminders of how fragile life is knock us backwards, we can rely on our hope in Christ and do all we can to remind our loved ones of how much we love them! Thank you for sharing this 🙂
Nicole, I am sure it would be the desire of many of us! As hard as it was, I am glad it is done. And also grateful for the reminder of the preciousness of each day and the people I love so deeply. Glad you stopped here!
Oh we need to do that, we keep putting it off too! Hard, but yes wise! Thank you for this post!! Happy Valentine’s Day!
Jennie, I am so glad that I am not the only one who put this task off. I will say though, it was a weight lifted in getting it done. Happy Valentine’s Day to you as well!
It is so important to get these realistic facts in order, but it’s amazing how it can bring up emotions!!
Happy V-day to you too!!
jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
#unite
Jodie, it is very important to do. I just never expected the flood of emotions. But God had something to show me and teach me, even in this 🙂
This is the Valentine’s story I needed to read today. Life is so precious and love is even more so. Thank you for sharing your beautiful testimony of love.
Thank you, Mary. Life and love are precious. May we appreciate every day we are given. Blessings to you, friend!
Thanks for sharing your story, happy Valentine’s day Dear friend
Thank you for letting me know you were here 🙂 May you & Brontis have a very Happy Valentine’s Day as well! xo
We did a lot of that quite a while ago (years) because we were concerned about who would get the kids if something happened to both of us. We need to update now – because there aren’t so many at home. My husband says we’re going to live to 100 together (we’ve been married 33.5 years) – and I wouldn’t want to live it with anyone but him. The little things – they make a difference – the details, don’t they! Beautiful tribute to your marriage. Thank you for sharing – and I’m sorry it was so hard for you to make all those decisions.
I so appreciate your thoughts & kindness towards me. It may have been hard but I have found myself so grateful for the many thoughts it prompted. And I am glad there are going to be many of us “centenarian’s” around 🙂
I just started crying reading your love letter to Danny. You are correct, the years have flown by. And I also agree with you…you are going together… At 105.
Love to you and Dannyâ¤ï¸
Joanne,
My husband is a Trust Officer so he works with trusts, and wills, and estate planning day in and day out. So I had no choice but to take care of that business early on. Like you said, though, it does remind you how fleeting this life is. I can’t imagine a day without him and so I too am planning on going together….we’ll see what God has in mind? Congratulations on such a long commitment still going strong!!
Blessings,
Bev xo