I have been mulling something around in my head for just about a week now. I am reading “Bread & Wine” by Shauna Niequist. Excellent book but not if your desire is to remain snug in your comfort zone. Shauna does a gentle shaking of the best kind 🙂
It seems to me that women typically experience shame about two things: their bodies and their homes.
(page 105)
See what I mean? And that is only the first few lines of the chapter! But they effectively got under my skin & into my thoughts. For days now.
The best homes that I have enjoyed were not new, spacious or filled with the most expensive furniture. To be honest, I cannot even tell you how they were decorated. When I went to visit, I wasn’t looking for perfection in an environment. I was only looking for a place to rest, to relax, to be safe for a bit from the pressures of life. Perhaps like me, you are also plagued with two thieves that attack our lives from time to time: perfection & performance.
Perfection, as defined by dictionary.com is “the highest degree of proficiency, skill or excellence”. Seriously, we can wipe that right off my slate as I am not sure I have any degree of proficiency, skill or excellence. Never mind the highest degree.
So onto the next thief…
Performance, also defined by dictionary.com is “an action or proceeding of an unusual or spectacular kind”. OK, let’s wipe this one off as well as the only unusual or spectacular thing hat ever happens in my home is often found in the midst of chaos. Or maybe it can be said that it is me or another family member just making a spectacle of ourselves. Either way, I am not a top notch performer of any kind.
Hence, the struggle. I refrain from inviting people into my home, into my environment. I am waiting until perfection & performance are permanent residents in my home.
But since reading this chapter by Shauna, I have realized that I could be waiting a very long time. And in the waiting, I am permitting Perfection & Performance to steal precious time from my life. Shauna goes on to write….
But it isn’t about perfection, and it isn’t about performance. You’ll miss the richest moment in life-the sacred moment when we feel God’s grace and presence through the actual faces and hands of the people we love- if you’re too scared and too ashamed to open the door. I know it’s scary, but throw open the door anyway.
(page 109)
Scripture puts it this way: “When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.” (Romans 12:13 NLT)
It takes practice. Maybe then it gets less scary.
It may be time to throw open the door and experience some sacred moments.
Today I linked with Soli Deo Gloria and Unite and Titus 2sdays and True Story Blog Hop and Teach Me Tuesday and Titus 2 Tuesday and Into The Word Wed. .
Its funny how we don’t notice other people’s houses (like you described), but beat ourselves up about our own. I don’t like the super-clean, super-modern homes. They make me nervous!
I grew up with seven siblings in a house that I suppose never was really clean. But we had a lot of love, and a lot of fun.
PS I love that image of the kitchen!
Happy Tuesday!
Ceil
Ceil –
I would so much rather be known for fun than for clean. Thanks for sharing!
I was not familiar with her book so thanks for sharing. Have you read Brene Brown. She has written some fascinating things about shame. interesting research too. coming over from SDG!
Jean –
So funny you should mention Brene Brown. Sitting right here on my desk is my next read – Daring Greatly 🙂 This will be the 1st time I have read any of her books & I am looking forward to it. Thanks for sharing with me today.
Maybe that’s why people put porches on houses – so you couldn’t see the mess inside:) but you could sit a spell. I love it when my house is put together – but I’ve learned that if I wait for it to be put together before opening a door to anyone – I’d never have a chance to visit anyone:)
Love this – I need a porch!!! Only teasing. I need to just work past the two thieves. Thank you for stopping by & sharing.
Wow! Looks like a GREAT read! Headed on vacation & wish I had time to run out & get this to read while I am away! So true…gentle shakings are the best kind! UNITED, Jen
It is a wonderful book! Hopefully you get to read it soon. Have a great vacation!
I love this! I have always wanted to have a home characterized in peace and rest for my guests. But I will admit, I am guilty of dusting right before their eyes when my perfectionism takes over. I am getting better but there is so much truth here. I think maybe I need to read this book too!
It is a wonderful book. The added plus is that Shauna also includes a recipe at the end of each chapter. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing at “Tell Me a Story.” Thinking back, when I was a kid, we had linoleum floors, and each morning after breakfast mother would sweep with her boom and then use the dust mop. Oh my where is my broom???