I have had them for as long as I can remember although not to the intensity as of late. This past week has been the worst experienced, every one of my senses heightened beyond what was tolerable …
Light was brighter.
Sounds were louder.
Smells were stronger.
Taste was unbearable.
And touch. This was new.Â Everything and anything touching my body, shot pain through my body. Even my clothes felt tight and heavy.
My heart broke for my husband, who just did not know what to do to bring relief or comfort. To be honest, this last bout, I did not even know what to do for myself. It happened when I was finally able to get comfortable, in my pj’s, on the couch, under blankets and was still, that he just brushed the bottom of my foot to caress it. I recoiled as pain shot through my legs, my body unable to tolerate his gentle touch.
I had not experienced heightened sensitivity to touch before. The very thing I longed for, to be held and comforted to feel relief, I could not have as it would cause greater pain.
The pain of the migraine now intensified by the fact that I had to experience it alone.
I prayed to myself repeatedly, “Lord, have mercy and bring relief.”
It was then several truths began to come:
- Gratitude. For it is by His stripes, we are healed.
- He knew. Christ knew what it felt like as He endured the likes of which, I for one, will never. He understood and felt for my pain.
For the first time, I knew, my eyes now opened, He understood my loneliness in the midst of the migraine for He Himself had felt alone on the Cross…
At about three o’clock, Jesus called out with a loud voice, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” (Matthew 27: 46, NLT)
While in my own painful migraine, understanding had come to me. As I lay on one side of our couch, my husband on the other, all he could do was to look on and be present. He could not help me, bring me relief, make me comfortable or change what I was experiencing.
On the Cross, Jesus was alone. And yet, God had never left Him. The Cross was His alone to experience. In that moment, there was no greater agony than knowing He was in the Presence of His Father, yet unable to receive anything from Him. He had to endure and go through it alone. No relief. No comfort. No change in circumstances.
In the midst of a migraine, I finally understood ….
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness, by his wounds you have been healed. (1 Peter 2: 24, NIV)
He suffered and endured the Cross, personally and alone, “so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right” (1 Peter 2:24, NLT). He died so that we can experience healing. No more wandering like sheep going astray, trying to find our way. And yet there was even more.
He Himself, totally alone, no relief to be had, experienced the Cross so that I would never be alone.
Funny what can be learned in the midst of a migraine.
Today I am joining … Hear It, Use It and Sharing His Beauty and Motivation Mon. and Inspire Me Mon. and Making Your Home Sing and Living Proverbs 31 and Mon. Musings and The Modest Mom and Inspire Me Mon. .