We are living in days where opinions abound. Everyone has one and is willing to share them with anyone who lends an ear. Let’s be honest … we cannot agree with everyone. Some people have wisdom and discernment, the words they share offering guidance and encouragement. Some … not so much.
Recently the question was asked of me: “How are we to deal with stupid people?” It’s a really good question as we encounter and interact with people all day long, all of our lives.
The question nagged for a few days and soon the question became, “How are we to handle and respond stupid people?” Let me share a story from Scripture.
There was a rich and prosperous man in the Old Testament named Nabel. Depending on the Bible translation one uses, he is described as “brutish and mean” (MSG); “harsh and evil (NASB); “surly and mean” (NIV); “crude and mean” (NLT); “harsh and badly behaved” (ESV).
To be clear, his name – Nabel – literally means “fool” according to the Old Testament Hebrew Lexicon.
Contrast this with his wife, Abigail, who is described as “intelligent and good-looking” (MSG); “intelligent and beautiful” (NASB and NIV); “sensible and beautiful” (NLT); “discerning and beautiful” (ESV).
The intelligent and beautiful Abigail married the harsh, mean, and stupid Nabel.
Let’s look into the story, found in 1 Samuel 25, to find clues of how to handle such a person.
Given the time frame of the story, this was most probably an arranged marriage. Abigail was in an unhappy marriage not of her doing or by her choice.
After David and his men had done right by Nabel, protecting his herds and herdmen, David asked for some food for his men. Nabel responded in a most insulting and ungracious manner which sparked anger and vengeance in David.
Upon hearing of David’s response, Abigail jumped into action to smooth the matter over. She herself brought food and wine, meat and grain to David and his men. Her actions diffused the situation and saved not only her husband’s life but the life of his men.
Abigail’s actions brings us several insights when handling stupid people:
- Words must be chosen carefully and wisely so as not to exacerbate a situation. Abigail approached David humbly, appealing to David’s good sense.
- Don’t argue with a stupid person. Abigail did not enter into an argument or a debate in an effort to change Nabel’s mind. She let him be and quietly did what needed to be done to diffuse a heated situation.
- Recognize the shortcomings of others. Abigail knew the lack of character in her husband. “I know Nabal is a wicked and ill-tempered man; please don’t pay any attention to him. He is a fool, just as his name suggests” (1 Samuel 25:25, NLT). In recognizing Nabel’s lack of character, she knew she had to take action to make up for his lack of wisdom.
- Continue to encourage others to put life situations into perspective. Abigail encouraged David to put the events which had angered him into perspective, thus helping him to respond wisely rather than reactionary.
As I have looked at this story and thought upon it, I have come to realize that stupid people will always exist. There will always be those with whom we cannot agree or come to a compromise. We cannot control their actions but we can control our own reactions and choices.
May we surround ourselves with people of wisdom and character,
thus working past the foolishness (or stupidity) we encounter in life.
“Stupid people always think they are right.
Wise people listen to advice.”
(Proverbs 12:15, GNT)
** This post is dedicated to those who are transparent and willing to ask the hard questions and make me think a little deeper. Praying for you today – may God give you all you need to handle the people you interact with each day!
Photo by Dennis Buchner on Unsplash
Today I am joining … Heart Encouragement ,
What a timely post. xo
Much appreciated.
This is so very good, Joanne! We need to still respect stupid people as human beings, but we can’t let them or their ideas ruin our lives or make us timid.
Where ignorance abounds, make we be people who pray increasingly so, for God to give us more wisdom.
Good lessons from this passage. I was thinking, too, that Abigail had been married to Nabal long enough for her to know him well and have had a lot of experience dealing with him. She wasn’t just brushing him off as stupid as people do so easily over disagreements online today. She knew well his faults. I’m thankful for Romans 12:18: “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” I appreciate the acknowledgement that there are some people we just can’t live peaceably with no matter what we do. I’m thankful for the grace and wisdom God gives as well to handle the situations that come up because of them.
Barbara, good points. Abigail knew Nabel, knew his ways, and had studied him. God gave her the wisdom and grace in navigating the situation and this gives me hope He will do it for us as well – if we depend on Him.
This is the perfect post to publish today, Joanne. One of the hardest things for me to remember (but I should) is that even people who are considered “harsh, evil, and badly behaved” are made in God’s image.
Laurie, if I may share with you … it was a post I had begun writing before events unfolded. I literally finished the post while watching the horrific situation on the news. May we remember to pray and ask for wisdom from God in handling those whom we don’t agree. May we do so with grace and kindness and with God’s love in our hearts.
Such practical and wise insights, Joanne! Your last line has been a recurring thought for me lately … “We cannot control their actions but we can control our own reactions and choices.” So true!
Lois, may we be ever mindful in these times we are living, to be God’s light. It is in being gracious and kind, even in sharing His truth, that others will be drawn to Him. May our responses be filled with God’s grace and love.
This line stood out to me: “We cannot control their actions but we can control our own reactions and choices.” Amen!
And may our reactions and choices always reflect Him with grace and love.
So good and definitely a now word, Joanne! Thank you for sharing!
Much appreciated, Tai!